The Reign of Donaldo

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

After victory in the desert, we made our way to the jungles in search of The Golden Lance. We quickly enlisted the aid of a fellow adventurer, who Kikoman enthralled and ultimately sacrificed to a flock of rabid monkey. RIP Nigel Thornbury. Also RIP to the wood elves who found an untimely demise at our hands.

After barely surviving a stampede and finding some mysterious jeweled cups, we finally found the Golden Lance. Atop his mount, the Golden Lance and his strange clone soldiers fought ravenously, infected by some kind of blood disease that rendered them insane. Barth, in a moment of clarity, healed one of the soldiers and revealed that they could be cleansed with a healing spell.

The Golden Lance, relieved of his affliction, revealed that he had been in some way cursed by Donaldo, who he has sworn to dethrone. Unable to further elaborate, he said that he must go speak with Cha’r, the leader of the forest elves, to repair the damage that he caused in his sicked state.

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BLOOOOOD ON THE FLOOOOOR

Due to the fog of war, my memory of this series of events is hazy… but I’ll do my best. North, we ventured into the desert. Armed with knowledge of the terrain that I gained from a local business-woman, we quickly came across a cave in the desert. This cave belonged to several red-cloaks, with whom we exchanged steel and blood.

Further into the sands, we encountered a sand-storm the likes of which even Bor had not seen. We attempted to trek through the whipping winds, but were swept away into the eye of the storm and flung into the sky. Lucky to find some soft dunes to cushion our fall, we landed near a strangely tranquil lake. At the foot of the lake was an enormous bird, guarding what looked to be an egg. Naturally, we woke the bird from her slumber, and escaped by rolling her precious egg down a sand dune.

Finally, we arrived at the rocky fortress of the red-cloaks. Soon enough, we found ourselves in yet another gladiator-type scenario, with Rhogar squaring off against the most menacing ogre in the land. With the aid of some spells from Merric and Barth, Rhogar managed to best the foul beast, and gain parlay with the leader of this band of mercenaries.

We spoke with the head red-robe in his private quarters, flanked by vials of blood stacked high in shelves the reached ceiling-tall. Words quickly devolved into action, as we found him to be in-league with the blood enemies of our past encounters. We managed to defeat this foul creature and his pet ogre, and Kikoman even absconded with a vial of Dana White’s blood. Score.

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DAY 8: HARD TO BE A SAINT IN THE CITY

The last couple days have been… strange to say the least. We traveled to the outlaw city of Desoli, in order to search for a team of black-ops fighters contracted by Donaldo to carry out his evil deeds. In this city, we found a truly wretched hive of scum and villainy. Naturally, we fit right in, both figuratively and literally (I’ll get to that later.)

Anyways, night began with a trip to an underground fighting ring, where Merric naturally began betting on combatants. Eager to prove our strength the any onlookers of the red-cloaked variety, Rhogar agreed to step into the ring. Matched against a rather imposing pirate, Rhogar (aided by a spell from Barth ) knocked out the old bastard with two swings of his mighty fist. This earned us enough credibility for a conversation with the Red-Cloaks in the club, and we learned that the group was stationed far out in the desert to the north of the city.

Due to the scarcity of any other details, we found it prudent to visit the local… lady place… to see if they had any additional information. As a gnome who possesses certain physical talents, I managed to gain access to the head mistress, who revealed some more information in return for… several favors of the physical variety. Anyways, she informed us that the hideout was between two large sand dunes.

We didn’t explore the city for much longer, as we were eager to pursue these mysterious renegades. We did take a look at the local shops, where Bor exposed one merchant as a fraud, who was selling armor that crumbled when struck with any real force. After that, we felt that it was prudent to remove ourselves from the city, and continue our search.

Now, into the desert.

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DAY 7: HEARTY VICTORY

We did it! Through a combination of heroic endeavors, we not only killed Frostclaw but also bested the demonic entity guarding the tomb of the Ark. Shout out to Kikkoman for saving our collective asses with a clutch thunderwave. Together, the six of us make quite a team! We also recovered two hearts, one flaming and one frozen. Merric has been carrying the flaming one with Mage Hand, which I am careful to avoid. Evidently these hearts are the focal point of some ancient lore in Kelvoria, and have magical properties.

Anyways, Kikkoman found a single hair in the tomb, which was otherwise empty. Someone had already been here, and escaped with the contents. After removing our own individual trophies from Frostclaw’s body, we claimed our prize from the boy king of Kelvoria. The runt of a man who we saved from the cave was also there, claiming the prize listed in his contract. Needless to say, we saw fit to relieve him of this undeserved reward.

With our primary mission accomplished, we set back to Hoolian City. After a night of drunken shenanigans, we did finally meet with Donaldo. Naturally, he was reluctant to give us our earned reward. He did give us half of the sum that he promised, claiming that he would give the other half upon receiving the next shipment of fish. He’s a slimy man, and I don’t like him at all.

Now, time to go gear up for our next adventure, whatever we decide that might be.

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DAY 5-6: SHOW ME YOUR FROSTCLAW

Wow, sorry it’s been so long. I was like, out of it for a while. Literally out of my body. It’s hard to explain.

Anyways, we met with Donaldo. That fat fuck. I can’t believe I was able to resist the urge to slide a couple of his golden cups or spoons into my bag, he wouldn’t have noticed. We didn’t have the illusion of choice in this encounter, as we were escorted there by a fleet of guards. Such hospitality!

Donaldo offered us a couple jobs, to further his own personal interests. First, he offered us the “opportunity” to go find and apprehend the Golden Lance, a wanted “criminal” of the realm. I have my doubts about his culpability. Anyways, we passed on this opportunity to go investigate a situation with the Dwarves down south in Kelvoria. Evidently they had been short on their fish shipments, and Donaldo wanted answers. He mentioned some kind of curse or ghost that was rumored to be behind the short shipments.

Before we headed out to visit our hairy pals down south (ha!), we did in fact meet with the leader of the Tieffling resistance in the Church of the First Men. In a hidden room behind a wall, he informed us of a gang of assassins that were out to hunt down the resistance. Spooky as it seemed, we told him that we needed to focus on the Dwarf issue so that we could get them in our good graces. Hopefully this was the right choice. I’m worried about what we’ll find when we return to see him again.

So, dwarf time. We met with the boy-king of Kelvoria, who let us know of a local rumor that sounded intriguing. He informed us of an arc, and a spirit that was guarding said arc. He said that locals believed the spirit to be disturbed, and thus causing the fish ships to crash into the rocky coast. Hmm. We also stopped by the library (forgot my card!) to do some research. We found the location of the arc, and learned of a red-robed man who had been seen in town before us. Evidently he was also seen making the same stops as us.

We found the cave, after navigating through some tight icy corridors. Immediately, we were met by a welcoming party of ice crabs and sabertooth tigers. Again, hospitality doesn’t seem to find us. There was also a dying man in a small offshoot of the cave, claiming that he had been cut down by Frostclaw. Merric would later steal this man’s rope.

Strangely enough, we would meet yet another sentient creature very soon. During our tiger fight, Merric thawed out an orc who had been frozen long ago. Somehow, he quickly recovered and helped us fend off the remaining tigers. His name was Vader? He might come from a long time ago, that name doesn’t even sound like it from this realm.

We fought and slid through the cave, until we discovered a frozen spirit in an elevated room. We melted the ice and set the spirit free, ignoring the “do not disturb” sign hastily constructed by the ice block. We used a flaming heart (yeeeaaaah) to thaw out this dude, as well as a black helmet. Seems like this heart has some kind of magical properties (duh, it’s a flaming heart!).

Then I decided it would be a good idea to slide down the ice slid in the next large chamber. To be fair, it was really fun! The end of the ride wasn’t great though, as I slid directly into a large frosty claw. Ouch time! I scurried away, injured in body but not in spirit. So, time to go kill that bitch.

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DAY 4: THE CLASS CLOWNS

Well here I am, I mean we are. We are on our way to…Hoo-li-an? Yeah, Hoolian city. That’s what they called it. I guess we are going to find some tiefling dude that has some significance? The world of mortals is pretty boring…i mean normal. If we find him then he will tell us something that will probably lead us somewhere else and…uhg these companions are so lame. Who care about the tieflings anyway? Its been this way for decades, why do they feel compelled to fight now? Anyway, we got a bit distracted by some creepy dude telling us to go to the circus. Yeah, the circus… and these idiots wants to go! What a waste of time, but I suppose this is all a waste of time for me. I suppose they are an acceptable means to an end. Well we get into the circus with our VIP tickets, which are really just regular tickets but in the front row, and we got to meet the two ‘performers’. Their acts were reasonably impressive, for non-magics. Then lo and behold, just like that sleazeball told us, we had to go onto the stage for the intermission murderfest. That’s what it was, a fight to the death. If only they knew how easily i could have defeated those plebeian freaks. ‘We’ decided that we should instead try and kill the leader of this ‘circus’ to free ourselves, and the performers from this terrible blight. I still don’t see a moral issue here, they get paid, and couldn’t they kill this guy themselves? Maybe Sleazy is hiding something, but i doubt it will be a problem for me. The bigger problem is not revealing my secret to these bumbling fools. I already almost slipped, foolish of me to use magic in front of the tiefling. She seems to be the more intelligent one in the group, but i can’t say the same for myself as I pretend to be skilled at archery. Archery is so primitive, what a worthless trade! Once we get out of this circus from hell, i will have my revenge…but first i need to figure out who exactly i’m supposed to be right now. Context clues are hard.

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DAY 3: FUZZY BALLS

Well, we found Garok’s relic. After defeating many skeletons (one on a horse), unstable terrain, and a damn rock golem, we finally provided Garok with his prize. After giving him the item, he let us in on the details of the Tiefling Resistance and his plan to overthrow the human overlords in Tieffen. He seemed to think that we had provided him with quite a valuable piece to the puzzle. The nature of this relic is still unknown, but retrieving it involved interacting with a large glowing orb that opened the secret chamber in which it was held. It seems that this lair was at one point a place of worship or some kind of cult, as we found church pews and many robed corpses throughout the passageways.

Though we are unsure of the magic and true nature of what we saw, we have managed to strike a noteworthy camaraderie and it seems that our small party of adventurers will stay together for the time being. The only one I don’t trust is the human, Barth. He hasn’t been one to rush into combat, instead electing to hang back and “hold the rope” while we ventured into the horrors of the unknown. How very human of him. The one who calls himself Bhor is also somewhat strange, retreating back to Barth in the midst of the chaos. Maybe he was having some intestinal issues, for which I can not blame him.

Our quest now is to travel to Hoolian City in order to meet with the inner circle of the Tiefling Resistance and discover the nature of this relic.

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DAY 2: GOIN’ TO THE CHAPEL

Outside the chapel, we saw a Tiefling man at the gate of a small town. With no gold or provisions to speak of, we approached him. After some rather strange conversation, he agreed to let us into the town, which he called Tieffen. It was a strange place, full of Tiefflings but patrolled and seemingly run by humans. Kikkoman, our resident Tiefling, was understandingly unnerved. We learned of a human guard, Christopher, who was taken during the night by some kind of creature. We tried unsuccessfully to ascertain how this happened, unable to get any reliable information from the guard Nicholas or the grave keeper, Feara. She was particularly unpleasant, ugly to the sight with a wretched voice. She spoke up of hope opening in the earth, near the grave markers of two deceased twins named Hope and Liberty. We saw some damage around the off-kilter tombstone, but Fiera seemed very against the idea of excavating the grave site to investigate further. She directed us to Garok, the food processing manager, who might have more information.

After waiting in line for what seemed like hours, we finally spoke with Garok. From him, we learned the nature of this place. Tieffen is indeed a sort of “prison camp” run by humans. The Tieflings are forced to do labor, building a new castle for Hoolian, the ruler of the realm. All of this seemed very strange, but we expressed our desire to help Garok and the Tiefling cause. Understandably dubious, he agreed to let us in the inner circle if we found an ancient Tieffling artifact hidden somewhere under the city. Unintimidated by this challenge, we descended into the excavation site for this new castle.

Once inside the main chamber, we saw several enemies. We defeated two disgusting rats, imbued with some type of plague that caused them to explode upon death with a wretched stench and foul acidic discharge. There were also several spitting bats, which we defeated with ease. Upon vanquishing these less than hospitable inhabitants, we examined the room to see three corridors. We entered the leftmost corridor, to see a large room with a chest by the far wall. In order to avoid the suspicious raised panels on the floor, Rhogar tossed Merric across the room onto the chest. This, surprisingly, worked without triggering any traps. Unfortunately, Merric failed at opening the chest and triggered one of the pressure activated panels, sending the chest and area around it down into a lower level room.

We scrambled to help Merric, and managed to get him back up to our level without alerting the two skeletons that he saw in the chamber. We then all descended using the rope, and combatted the skeletons. We thought we had them defeated, but alas, they reformed just after we sent their bones clattering to the ground.

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DAY 1: NAKED AND AFRAID

We awoke amongst dead, nude bodies. More relaxed introductions, there have certainly been. My fellow pit dwellers, Rhogar, Kikkoman, Merric Quillfoot, Bhor, and Barth, all seemed capable and trustworthy, to an extent. Anyways, it’s not like any of us had an option other than proceeding together.

We did escape the confines of the wretched well in which we awoke, but not without a good fight. We came across several obstacles, the most difficult of which might have been a wall that I, erm, had some trouble climbing. I escaped major injury, but managed to fall directly on my new pal Bor, who tried to catch me. Sorry Bhor.

Anyways, there were disgusting rats impeding our escape, but we dispatched them with relative ease. It was at this point that we all seemed to bond, realizing that we actually work together quite well. Past the rats and other unpleasantries, we made it up into what we thought was a cathedral, or church hall. There, we had the pleasure of meeting and fighting a blood mage of unknown name, and his statue-turned-serpent. It was quite perilous, but we managed to escape with our lives. The strange creature fled at the end of our battle, turning into a pool of blood and simply flowing out of our view. It was all very strange, but we were quite eager to escape this place and simply breathe fresh air.

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